(Or either of its close relatives, the lazy perfectionist or the imperfect perfectionist?)
Please refer to the article 15 Struggles Only Perfectionists Would Understand. If you find yourself there, you’re far from being alone. While the 2010 article Real Learning: Meet the Perfectionists mentioned that the general population contains approximately 30% perfectionists,
that percentage has been steadily increasing; especially among young
people worldwide, according to a Harvard Business Review article by
Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill (Perfectionism Is Increasing, And That’s Not Good News). In the same article, the authors make reference to their published research which discusses the idea that perfectionism might be behind the recent rise in serious mental illness.
15 Struggles Only Perfectionists Would Understand
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/15-struggles-only-perfectionists-would-understand.html
Real Learning: Meet The Perfectionists
http://blog.masslive.com/real_learning/2010/07/meet_the_perfectionists.html
Perfectionism Is Increasing, And That’s Not Good News
https://hbr.org/2018/01/perfectionism-is-increasing-and-thats-not-good-news
As
a perfectionist myself, I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and
get lost in small details and endless tweaking. Although I realize that
perfectionism is counter-productive, as it causes a lot of busy work and
often leads to procrastination and even paralyzing fear, it’s still a
habit that can be very hard to keep under control. Over the years,
however, I’ve learned a few tools that have helped me (and can also help
you) in the journey to become a functional perfectionist:
1) HAVE A PLAN. You
are much more likely to achieve your goals and remain focused if you
take the time to put together a detailed plan of action, or at least a
solid outline of action steps to help keep you on track. However, try not to get too caught up into making lists and organizing the process, or nothing will get done!
2) CATCH YOURSELF! Focus, prioritize and continuously remind yourself of what really matters. Why
are you here? What are your main goals, or what do you aim to
accomplish or achieve? Who do you want to serve (or for whom do you do
what it is that you do, or want to do)?
3) JUST DO IT! According to Marie Forleo, life coach, motivational speaker, author and owner of B-School and web television MarieTV, “perfectionism will kill your dream. It is the one thing
that separates winners from the wannabe’s in almost every area of
life.” She also says that none of us are immune to this; we can all slip
into that mindset if we’re not careful. So her mantra is “go for progress, not perfection.” This
is not about lowering your standards; it’s about stopping endless
tweaking (which often is a manifestation of procrastination caused by
fear) and focusing on what really matters: Results. “If you wait to get
it perfect, Marie affirms, “you’ll never get it out there.” So do it before you think you’re ready! This is also how you learn and evolve; and there is no shame in growing and improving your work, once it’s already out there.
Why Perfectionism Will Crush Your Productivity — And How To Stop It
https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/11/progress-not-perfection/
4) TRICK YOUR BRAIN INTO ACTION. Mel
Robbins shares excellent tips on how to work around the brain’s
tendency to stall or block action, especially when you’re suffering from
analysis paralysis:
Mel Robbins: 5 Second Rule
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI2VQ-ZsNr0
How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over - Mel Robbins
https://www.ted.com/talks/mel_robbins_how_to_stop_screwing_yourself_over?language=en
Mel Robbins on The High 5 Habit — It’s Weird, But it Works
https://www.marieforleo.com/2021/10/mel-robbins-the-high-5-habit/?uid=e7695b04079c1f9b70c2b35b8bd231eb
5) TAKE FREQUENT 5 R’S BREAKS (RELEASE, RECHARGE, RESET, REDIRECT AND REFOCUS).
Your mind really needs breaks, and you’ll notice that you’ll be much
more productive if you take them throughout the day. Brendon Burchard,
one of the top motivation coaches and marketing trainers in the world,
suggests taking a 5 or 10 minute break every 50 minutes to
stand up and stretch; breathe deeply and get some oxygen in your body
and brain while repeating “release, recharge, reset” in your mind; take a
bathroom break; drink water; play with your pet or something that is
relaxing for 10 minutes.
To redirect and refocus, Brendon also
suggests that you ask yourself the following questions before you get
busy again: Who needs me in my A game right now? How can I show up at my
best? What are my priorities right now? What will advance me the most
towards my goals?
5 50-Minute Habits Get You 30% More Productive (and Energized)
https://www.growthday.com/5x50video
50x50 Productivity Formula PDF
https://brendon.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/BrendonBurchard-5x50ProductivityFormula.pdf
4 Steps To Restart A Bad Day
http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/128037112368/4-steps-to-restart-a-bad-day
BONUS BENEFIT: Recent research suggests that taking
even a 5 minute break every hour to move your body (walking,
stretching, etc) is more effective to improve your mood and promote
well-being than a single longer walk or exercise routine before or after work.
Work. Walk 5 Minutes. Work.
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/28/well/move/work-walk-5-minutes-work.html
6) GET HELP! If you catch yourself procrastinating often due to lack of focus or fear, take the time to examine what might be behind this pattern.
There are many available therapies and techniques that can help you
release, resolve and remove any fears, blocks, barriers, negative core
beliefs or illusions of limitations that are in your way. Some
examples are: Hypno-coaching, cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation,
yoga, etc.
7) DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP! If
you slip back into your old patterns of procrastination and
perfectionism, simply acknowledge it and shift back your focus to
positive action steps and habits that get you moving forward. Release all that guilt and shame, and choose to be gentle with yourself.
8) AS THE TITLE SAYS... You don't
have to feel like you are in a perfect place to help others; showing up
as a real person actually helps to better engage and connect with your
audience. You can share your own struggles and use that as an
opportunity to demonstrate how much the tools you practice have helped
you overcome challenges and continue to make a difference in how you
navigate your own life. In other words, you don’t have to be perfect; you just need to be functional (most of the times)! You’ve learned the tools, so you can now demonstrate and teach these tools to help others.
9) PUT YOUR PERFECTIONISM TO GOOD USE! As
with everything, being a perfectionist has a good side; perfectionists
often live up to the high standards they impose upon themselves and
deliver first-rate results. The trick is to learn when to turn the
perfectionism tendency down a notch or two and find the right balance. A
good question to ask yourself: Is perfectionism causing you to
procrastinate or freeze up, or holding you back in any other way?
10) ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR VICTORIES! Take
time to appreciate and celebrate yourself at every turn, whenever you
manage to accomplish your goals or important milestones towards your
goals. Reward yourself and enjoy some well-deserved rest and play time.
FINAL THOUGHT: BE CURIOUS AND PERSISTENT! According to Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic, among
other successful books, “all my most fruitful seeking and making in
life has been born out of curiosity, and hopefully always will be. I
feel like curiosity and stubbornness have been the two guiding stars of
my existence as a writer, in particular. (The author Robert Stone once
quipped, recognizably, that he had the two worst character faults
possible in a writer — that he was lazy, and a perfectionist. I've
always thought that if you can trade those two creativity-killing traits
out for simply being curious and stubborn, then you are ON YOUR WAY.)”
Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 07/13/2023
Image by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
Other References:
Becoming A Functional Perfectionist
https://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/becoming-a-functional-perfectionist
The Charge: Activating The 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive, by Brendon Burchard
High Performance Habits, by Brendon Burchard
Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert
You Aren't Lazy — You're Just Terrified: On Paralysis And Perfectionism
https://ravishly.com/you-arent-lazy-youre-just-terrified-paralysis-and-perfectionism-mental-health
