WHAT THE F... TO DO WITH ANGER?

Angry much? 

Well, it’s hard to not feel angry or at least frustrated on a regular basis these days. Just the overload caused by frequent stimuli alone is enough to make us crazy... and ready to explode! The fact that most of the information we’re constantly bombarded with is wrought with negativity doesn’t help, either... Not to mention having to navigate through our own triggers...

 

Anger is usually fear in disguise; when repressed instead of properly processed, it can turn into depression. Unprocessed and stifled anger can also cause all kinds of havoc in our body (especially the liver, which is the organ associated with anger in Traditional Chinese Medicine); disrupt our peace of mind; and, when out of control, lead to hurtful, damaging and even dangerous situations, such as road rage.

 

 What Does Processing Anger Look Like?

- Feel the anger. Repressing it won’t do. Allow yourself to feel it without reacting to it. You can use affirmations to help deal with anger, such as:

“I acknowledge that I am feeling angry right now, and accept the way I feel.

I have the power to control my reactions.

I can fully experience this anger, yet wait before I take action.

I can feel angry, but calm and in control at the same time.

It’s ok to feel angry.”

Anger Management Relaxation script from Inner Health Studio

https://www.innerhealthstudio.com/deal-with-anger.html

 

- Question the anger. Where is it coming from? Rather than assuming it’s being caused by people, situations or circumstances, consider that the external world reflects what’s happening within. Are you angry at yourself for some reason, or feeling out of control and impotent about certain aspects of your life? Is a current person or situation triggering past traumas and issues that are unresolved? Are there inner wounds that need to be healed or personal boundaries that need to be reinforced? Do you have a need that’s not being met?

- Own the anger... if it is indeed yours. As many highly sensitive empaths out there, I’m also prone to anger; so, whenever needed, I practice the process I’m sharing on this article. However, I’m aware that I’m also prone to pick up on and absorb energies from other sources. Sometimes it happens that I start feeling randomly angry, without any obvious triggers. To determine if the anger feeling is coming from me or somewhere else, I examine recent events and interactions, along with the circumstances that led to that moment, and try to track any triggers that I might have missed (these can be subtle, but still have a cumulative effect). If I don’t find any possible causes that might explain how I’m feeling, I ask my inner/higher guidance to help me discern if the anger feeling (or anxiety, depression, etc) is mine or if it’s coming from external sources. If it becomes clear that the anger feeling isn’t mine, I proceed to cut energetic cords to any negative, low vibration sources, and then visualize the highest vibration light energy filling that space instead. That usually works quite well; my mood shifts in a positive way within minutes. This exercise still works if the anger feeling is mine; in this case, however, additional internal work is necessary.

 

- Share the anger. Find a safe environment and the right people to express your anger with. That doesn’t mean venting your anger on others; just expressing what you’re feeling and getting support.

If there are people and situations in your life that are frequently contributing to triggering the anger response, it might be necessary to communicate with the people involved and address those situations, in addition to doing inner work. In that case, there are three choices: Change it, leave it or accept it.

 

- Express the anger. Record an angry message or write an angry letter, but don’t send it. Create artistic expressions inspired by the anger you’re feeling.

 

- Release the anger. Performing physical activities usually helps. Punch those pillows, kick the crap out of that punching bag, run, dance, scream, cry!

 

- Process the anger with a pro (or like a pro). Speak with a counselor or other healthcare professionals and learn additional tools to safely express, release and move on from that anger.

There are also several holistic or integrative techniques that can help, such as Hypnotherapy, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming), EFT, etc.

In addition, mindful practices such as meditation, prayer, yoga, Tai Chi, etc, can be very effective for anger management.

- Make amends for the anger: If you slip up and hurt someone or cause other issues due to anger, a key step in this process is to make amends and do damage control, so that everyone involved is able to move on.

Disclaimer: Of course, I’m not referring here to anger that leads to any kind of abuse; reaching out for professional help (and protection, if you are the receiver of the abuse) is a must in anger situations that are dangerous or out of control.

 

- Channel that anger! If some of your anger is triggered by the current state of affairs (socio-political issues, the economy, animal cruelty, the environment, etc), a positive way to channel it is to get involved in worthy causes and try to make a difference. Righteous indignation or anger is a powerful energetic force; put it to good use and become a warrior angel!

 

Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 10/23/23

thehealershome.com

 

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

SMILE! YOU'RE ON...

 

A Simple, Silly Exercise 

We often feel silly smiling or laughing on our own. But isn’t it interesting that we don’t feel as self-conscious about frowning, scowling or wearing other “down” expressions, whether or not we are alone? Which kind of expression do you think has the power to shift our energy positively and help us feel better?
 
If you read the book or watched the movie Eat, Pray, Love, you probably remember Ketut, the guru Elizabeth Gilbert worked with during her stay in Bali. You might also remember that he suggested she’d practice one hour of “smile yoga” on a daily basis, to help balance the more serious Indian-style meditation. “Smile in your liver,” he said. That’s a fitting recommendation, considering that the liver is associated with anger in Traditional Chinese Medicine, and plays a big part in detoxing our body.
 
Sadhguru, a well-known Indian yogi, mystic and author, has a similar prescription for starting your day well or shifting your mood from bad to good: Smile! Find that joyful child within you and smile the minute you get out of bed. Keep wearing that smile as you go through your morning routine. Smile even if you can’t connect with your inner child at that moment. Smile when things work out... or don’t! Smile just for the heck of it. Sustain it for as long as you can; chances are, you’ll be able to hold it for a longer period of time every day. This simple, silly exercise will change your life... and positively touch the lives of many others around you.
 
Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 09/28/23
 
Photo by Senjuti Kundu on Unsplash

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT; ONLY FUNCTIONAL (MOST OF THE TIME)!

 Do You Consider Yourself A Perfectionist?

(Or either of its close relatives, the lazy perfectionist or the imperfect perfectionist?)

Please refer to the article 15 Struggles Only Perfectionists Would Understand. If you find yourself there, you’re far from being alone. While the 2010 article Real Learning: Meet the Perfectionists mentioned that the general population contains approximately 30% perfectionists, that percentage has been steadily increasing; especially among young people worldwide, according to a Harvard Business Review article by Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill (Perfectionism Is Increasing, And That’s Not Good News). In the same article, the authors make reference to their published research which discusses the idea that perfectionism might be behind the recent rise in serious mental illness.
 
15 Struggles Only Perfectionists Would Understand
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/15-struggles-only-perfectionists-would-understand.html
 
Real Learning: Meet The Perfectionists
http://blog.masslive.com/real_learning/2010/07/meet_the_perfectionists.html
 
Perfectionism Is Increasing, And That’s Not Good News
https://hbr.org/2018/01/perfectionism-is-increasing-and-thats-not-good-news
 
As a perfectionist myself, I know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed and get lost in small details and endless tweaking. Although I realize that perfectionism is counter-productive, as it causes a lot of busy work and often leads to procrastination and even paralyzing fear, it’s still a habit that can be very hard to keep under control. Over the years, however, I’ve learned a few tools that have helped me (and can also help you) in the journey to become a functional perfectionist:
 
1) HAVE A PLAN. You are much more likely to achieve your goals and remain focused if you take the time to put together a detailed plan of action, or at least a solid outline of action steps to help keep you on track. However, try not to get too caught up into making lists and organizing the process, or nothing will get done!
 
2) CATCH YOURSELF! Focus, prioritize and continuously remind yourself of what really matters. Why are you here? What are your main goals, or what do you aim to accomplish or achieve? Who do you want to serve (or for whom do you do what it is that you do, or want to do)?
 
3) JUST DO IT! According to Marie Forleo, life coach, motivational speaker, author and owner of B-School and web television MarieTV, “perfectionism will kill your dream. It is the one thing that separates winners from the wannabe’s in almost every area of life.” She also says that none of us are immune to this; we can all slip into that mindset if we’re not careful. So her mantra is “go for progress, not perfection.” This is not about lowering your standards; it’s about stopping endless tweaking (which often is a manifestation of procrastination caused by fear) and focusing on what really matters: Results. “If you wait to get it perfect, Marie affirms, “you’ll never get it out there.” So do it before you think you’re ready! This is also how you learn and evolve; and there is no shame in growing and improving your work, once it’s already out there.

Why Perfectionism Will Crush Your Productivity — And How To Stop It
https://www.marieforleo.com/2016/11/progress-not-perfection/
 
4) TRICK YOUR BRAIN INTO ACTION. Mel Robbins shares excellent tips on how to work around the brain’s tendency to stall or block action, especially when you’re suffering from analysis paralysis:
 
Mel Robbins: 5 Second Rule
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI2VQ-ZsNr0
 
How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over - Mel Robbins
https://www.ted.com/talks/mel_robbins_how_to_stop_screwing_yourself_over?language=en
 
Mel Robbins on The High 5 Habit — It’s Weird, But it Works
https://www.marieforleo.com/2021/10/mel-robbins-the-high-5-habit/?uid=e7695b04079c1f9b70c2b35b8bd231eb
 
5) TAKE FREQUENT 5 R’S BREAKS (RELEASE, RECHARGE, RESET, REDIRECT AND REFOCUS). Your mind really needs breaks, and you’ll notice that you’ll be much more productive if you take them throughout the day. Brendon Burchard, one of the top motivation coaches and marketing trainers in the world, suggests taking a 5 or 10 minute break every 50 minutes to stand up and stretch; breathe deeply and get some oxygen in your body and brain while repeating “release, recharge, reset” in your mind; take a bathroom break; drink water; play with your pet or something that is relaxing for 10 minutes.
To redirect and refocus, Brendon also suggests that you ask yourself the following questions before you get busy again: Who needs me in my A game right now? How can I show up at my best? What are my priorities right now? What will advance me the most towards my goals?
 
5 50-Minute Habits Get You 30% More Productive (and Energized)
https://www.growthday.com/5x50video
 
50x50 Productivity Formula PDF
https://brendon.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/BrendonBurchard-5x50ProductivityFormula.pdf
 
4 Steps To Restart A Bad Day
http://brendonburchard.tumblr.com/post/128037112368/4-steps-to-restart-a-bad-day
 
BONUS BENEFIT: Recent research suggests that taking even a 5 minute break every hour to move your body (walking, stretching, etc) is more effective to improve your mood and promote well-being than a single longer walk or exercise routine before or after work.
 
Work. Walk 5 Minutes. Work.
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/28/well/move/work-walk-5-minutes-work.html
 
6) GET HELP! If you catch yourself procrastinating often due to lack of focus or fear, take the time to examine what might be behind this pattern. There are many available therapies and techniques that can help you release, resolve and remove any fears, blocks, barriers, negative core beliefs or illusions of limitations that are in your way. Some examples are: Hypno-coaching, cognitive behavioral therapy, meditation, yoga, etc.
 
7) DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP! If you slip back into your old patterns of  procrastination and perfectionism, simply acknowledge it and shift back your focus to positive action steps and habits that get you moving forward. Release all that guilt and shame, and choose to be gentle with yourself.
 
8) AS THE TITLE SAYS... You don't have to feel like you are in a perfect place to help others; showing up as a real person actually helps to better engage and connect with your audience. You can share your own struggles and use that as an opportunity to demonstrate how much the tools you practice have helped you overcome challenges and continue to make a difference in how you navigate your own life. In other words, you don’t have to be perfect; you just need to be functional (most of the times)! You’ve learned the tools, so you can now demonstrate and teach these tools to help others.
 
9) PUT YOUR PERFECTIONISM TO GOOD USE! As with everything, being a perfectionist has a good side; perfectionists often live up to the high standards they impose upon themselves and deliver first-rate results. The trick is to learn when to turn the perfectionism tendency down a notch or two and find the right balance. A good question to ask yourself: Is perfectionism causing you to procrastinate or freeze up, or holding you back in any other way?
 
10) ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR VICTORIES! Take time to appreciate and celebrate yourself at every turn, whenever you manage to accomplish your goals or important milestones towards your goals. Reward yourself and enjoy some well-deserved rest and play time.
 
FINAL THOUGHT: BE CURIOUS AND PERSISTENT! According to Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic, among other successful books, “all my most fruitful seeking and making in life has been born out of curiosity, and hopefully always will be. I feel like curiosity and stubbornness have been the two guiding stars of my existence as a writer, in particular. (The author Robert Stone once quipped, recognizably, that he had the two worst character faults possible in a writer — that he was lazy, and a perfectionist. I've always thought that if you can trade those two creativity-killing traits out for simply being curious and stubborn, then you are ON YOUR WAY.)”
 
Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 07/13/2023
 
Image by Brett Jordan on Unsplash
 
Other References:
Becoming A Functional Perfectionist
https://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/becoming-a-functional-perfectionist

The Charge: Activating The 10 Human Drives That Make You Feel Alive, by Brendon Burchard
 
High Performance Habits, by Brendon Burchard
 
Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert
 
You Aren't Lazy — You're Just Terrified: On Paralysis And Perfectionism
https://ravishly.com/you-arent-lazy-youre-just-terrified-paralysis-and-perfectionism-mental-health

CHOOSE JUST ONE STEP!

In Case You're Feeling Stuck...

I first published the Feeling Stuck? Just Choose One Step blog article shared below in 2016, but I believe that it is even more relevant now than it was back then. As highly sensitive empaths, a lot of us are feeling lost, confused, anxious, depressed and/or angry right now… These have been very challenging healing and transformation times, and we're all being prepped for some major changes ahead. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed about it all, especially when trying to decide how to make a difference in a personally fulfilling (and financially sustainable) way... This article brings back a simple reminder: You can choose just one step to begin (or continue) your journey as a healer who’s in the process of being healed.

 

The Challenge (or One of Them)

We live in a time period when a lot is expected and even demanded of anyone who's on their way to awareness and “wokeness” (or trying to get there). It doesn't make any difference where on our paths we might be; we are not being cut any slack. A lot of us can't help but feeling overwhelmingly pressured to perform, to become someone many of us don't feel quite ready to be (even assuming we know for sure who we want to become or what we want to do).

 

Everyone and everything around are inspiring (or rather, urging) us to take major action, and immediately. Something about the fact that we don't have a lot of time left. The news. The prophets. New Age books. Movies such as An Inconvenient Truth, Fast Food Nation, Supersize Me, Sicko, etc. Everywhere you turn, it's doomsday approaching by the minute. It's do or die. Although all that information is necessary and fulfilling a vital service by educating us, one of its common side effects is that of creating a state of paranoia and panic, and freezing a lot of well-meaning but overwhelmed people into depression and inaction (not to mention that, according to the law of attraction, it can actually reinforce this very reality we want so much to change). The current political (and socio-economical) climate doesn’t help one bit.

 

Like so many, for a long time I had also felt that I should be doing something about it. I went through a period of confusion during which I desperately tried to figure out what, how, which, when. And, more specifically, who I had to become to participate, to contribute. "Become" being the operative word. I did not believe that I could just choose to do something, to participate, to create without becoming somebody else first. As in, becoming better; improving myself as a person. Not that I have anything against the idea that we all should put an effort into connecting with and expressing our best selves. I believe that's one of the reasons we come here: to remember who we really are, and ultimately make that choice. It's just that, in my mind, I often felt I was not even worthy of initiating any transformational process because I was not good enough. I didn't believe that if I just followed my heart, chose something I cared about and made it happen, even if it were on a small scale, I would really be making a difference. I was influenced by our modern culture, which is filled with so many amazing people doing things in the grandest possible style; therefore, I believed that, whatever changes I made, they would have to be on a much larger scale. It seemed like hard footsteps to follow. Just too much for little ol' me.

 

And so I read all about how to build an organic garden and do composting and save water and energy, etc, etc, etc. And then I watched movies and documentaries about the environment and felt inspired (or shamed) into doing something about it. And then I saved all the website links and their huge lists of things to do. At first, my intention was to go all out; but then, for lack of time or money or energy or simply for being lazy or feeling overwhelmed, all I managed to do in the end was to neatly organize bookmarks of informative websites for future use... and buy a few eco-friendly light bulbs.

 

Until I decided to stop trying to become someone I'm not, and find my own small way to help by doing something I enjoy, am good at and can have fun with: becoming a wellness practitioner, and writing articles to hopefully help break it down for other people like me.

 

What's Next, Then?

Here are 11 steps I suggest you consider if you’re feeling lost and confused about your studies, work, career, calling, life path, etc, and trying to figure out a way to contribute to positive change while sustainably and successfully following your bliss:

 

1) Chillax.* Take a deep breath, take a walk, meditate, give yourself a break.

(*This slang made up of the contraction between “chill” and “relax” used to be a thing. Then older adults started overusing it, so it’s considered lame and even archaic now; but I still like it and I think it works here. So, there.)

 

2) Chillax some more.

 

3) Realize that you are the only one who can decide what works for you. There's no wrong way or right way. There's only your way, my way, and everyone else's infinite own ways.

 

4) Decide to have fun in your life. This is very important: The first thing you do when you wake up is to ask to have fun and prepare to be surprised. Expect it. Believe it. Pursue it. And watch it happen. Everything else falls into place.

 

5) Understand that you don't have to be or become perfect (whatever your perception of perfection happens to be) to deserve that good things happen to you, and to decide to participate in this amazing shift that's happening in our world right now. In other words:

You don't “gotta” become anything.

You just gotta be.

You be, and in the being the best you can manage to be at this very moment in your life, you'll eventually find yourself and your way.

 

6) Whichever way it goes, it's all good. Sure, human civilization as we know it might end in this planet if we don't act quickly enough. However, there are also a lot of people out there already working to make a difference as we speak. And in the end, as my yoga teacher said, whichever way it goes it's all good. And it's certainly not going to do us any good to constantly worry about it....

 

7) So, go at your own pace. Your timing is just right for you. Just because your favorite guru or your next-door neighbor already became woke and found their mission, it doesn't mean you have to rush out and try to get a bigger one for yourself. I mean, the pressure to keep up!!! Just try to do what you can, without worrying if you're doing enough, or doing it quickly enough and, most importantly, without worrying about what anybody else is doing or not doing.

 

8) There's no such thing as missing your opportunity to do anything in life. There’s always another opportunity where that one came from.

 

9) Think baby steps. In the end, it's the little things, the tiny steps, the small ways that make a difference. Every single, minute action counts. You are here and now to take only one step to begin with.

 

10) And finally, but most importantly: enjoy yourself in the process. If you are not enjoying yourself, try something else. In the end, it's all about You. Yes, You. So, be gentle with yourself, and be merry!

 

11) In case you start following the steps above and get busy, tired, sick, overwhelmed, overworked, disheartened, discouraged, fed up, lazy, etc, and then give up, step # 11 is here just to remind you to give yourself a break. When you are ready again, just go back to step #1 and start over!

 

Choosing Your Step

Just think of something that you would like to be doing to help. Look around your home, or think about your family, friends, school, work, hobbies, community, or whatever you connect the most with. The choices are virtually limitless. If there's anything that draws your attention, some area where you feel you can make a difference, even if in very small ways, go for it! You can start by simply picking one action to follow and putting it into practice, until you feel ready to add more to your list. Try not to overwhelm yourself. Unless you do feel like choosing several things and starting to change the world right away; then, by all means, go ahead and follow your instincts. If at any point you become overwhelmed, try not to get discouraged and drop everything; instead, remember you can always cut back and/or change your choices.

 

C’mon, Can One Small Step Really Make A Difference?

YES!!! Think about the proverbial small pebble creating the ripple effect when tossed in the lake. Think about any other frequently used metaphor in relation to the huge power of small actions; or create your own! Whatever it takes to get you going. But take that step. And then another, and another, and another. Just try it and see.

 

Final Thought: Remember that even a tiny step is better than doing nothing. And don't forget to HAVE FUN!

 

© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 04/24/23

thehealershome.com

 

Photo by Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels

AFRAID TO FAIL MEANS AFRAID TO SUCCEED

 

Are you afraid to fail, succeed or both?
These twin siblings walk together, arm in arm, and it can be really hard to separate them or even tell them apart. When we’re afraid to fail, we usually feel paralyzed and unable to take the necessary steps to achieve success. Succeeding can’t happen without failing; ergo, being afraid to fail often translates into being afraid to succeed.
 
What’s behind these fears? If we dig deeply enough, sooner or later we come to realize that most of our surface fears stem from three major core fears: Not being good enough; being unworthy; and being afraid of living and getting hurt in the process. If we believe we are unworthy or not good enough, and if we’re afraid to live, we end up attracting people, events, circumstances, etc, that will reinforce those fears… As we believe, so it is.
 
As everyone else, I’ve had my share of failing. One of the most significant failure experiences happened in 2010. As a consequence of the 2008 economic crisis, among other factors, my business partner and I had to close our graphic design and publishing business. Since I had unwisely connected my personal credit to the business, I had to declare bankruptcy and lost my home in the process. I had to start over in my 40’s, and everything I had believed in or counted on didn’t make sense any longer. I was feeling lost, confused, depressed and very angry. After a period of grieving and a short stretch working for the U.S. Census, I came to the realization that I needed to start reinventing myself.
 
Since 2002, I had been learning about and experimenting with different forms of holistic practices as a side activity. I really enjoyed that work, so I decided to pursue the integrative arts as a career. The research I conducted about federally accredited holistic healthcare programs led me to SWIHA - Southwest Institute of Healing Arts in Tempe, AZ as the best choice for my purposes. In 2011, when I enrolled in the SWIHA AOS degree program in Holistic Health Care, I had the choice to specialize in nutrition or hypnotherapy; I chose the latter, which led me to a fulfilling career in hypno-coaching. I obtained my AOS degree in Holistic Healthcare in 2013, became certified as a Master Hypnotherapist by the ABH and as a Certified Hypnotherapist by the IMDHA, and founded The Healers Home (formerly The Ragi Center for Self-Awareness), through which I practice Clinical Hypnotherapy, Life Coaching and other holistic modalities. In addition, I teach SWIHA online classes and offer corporate workshop series and presentations about hypnotherapy for the local community. Currently, I’m co-authoring a book with my mentor and former teacher about implementing a volunteer-based guided imagery program at a hospital or health care facility.
 
As I often share as part of resistance coaching for the classes I teach online, failure paves the road to success. However, there's a big difference between failing and feeling like a failure. As my wise friend Judi L. once shared during an online group meeting, “failure only exists in our minds—mistakes are essential to set us in different directions and on different paths. We can't let fear of making mistakes prevent us from moving forward. When we fail or make the wrong choice, we're meant to learn from those experiences and take the next leap. Everything is pushing us to our higher purpose.”
Learning how to make mistakes and fail with humility, without beating ourselves up, is one of the most courageous, empowering and self-loving choices we can make in life.
 
Failing is especially good for business. As a matter of fact, the current trend is to fail fast to get that part of the process out of the way and fail mindfully to acquire the necessary knowledge and successfully apply the lessons (please check out some of the awesome videos from The Failure Institute; link under References). Also, sharing our struggles is one of the most effective ways to connect with and engage our audience.
 
How to Address Fear?
To help you further on your own journey of bringing fear to light, I recommend hypno-coaching to work through resistance and fears. A good script to begin with is Wall of Fear, by Linda Bennett, with focus on the fears of not being good enough and/or being unworthy. A good follow-up script would be Removing the Armor for releasing limitations, also by Linda Bennett.
 
In addition to hypno-coaching, there are many effective exercises and tools to help deal with fear:
 
- Asking yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen?” Our wild imaginations can create some far-off doomsday scenarios, making it easier to laugh at and dismiss our fears.
 
- Visualizing the process of making mistakes and failing as if you were watching an old black-and-white comedy-capers-style silent movie (or another funny, cartoonish story style) is another effective way to make light of our failings… and related fears.
 
- Self-parenting through soothing, confident-building self-talk. Be the parent that you wish you’d had!
 
- Repeating positive affirmations and powerful mantras.
 
- Doing mirror work, which also involves using affirmations and mantras.
 
- Writing your eulogy: What do you want to be remembered for? What does a meaningful life with no regrets mean to you?
 
- Testing your fears: Ask yourself powerful questions, or ask a professional therapist work with you.
 
- Mel Robbins shares effective tips to trick the brain into action (please see two of her videos under References). As per Becca Briley’s fitting comment about the 5 Second Rule brain trick during our live talk, "Instead of RETRACTION, we choose IN-ACTION" (please see link under References).
 
- Activities like rock climbing or singing karaoke can reveal your fear patterns and help you work through them. For instance, when I started indoor rock-climbing a few months ago , I noticed that, whenever I had a successful climbing session, I’d start making excuses about why I probably wouldn’t be able to do so well next time… I recognized it as a defensive mechanism through which I’d justify myself in advance for possible failures. Once I was aware of this pattern, I would catch myself every time I’d be thinking of such excuses and take action by responsibly challenging myself and learning to be ok with not-so-good climbing days.  

- Asking for help and support is an important part of this process, too. No one does it alone! In addition to friends and family support (or if you can’t count on friends and family), look for other sources, such as local and online groups and orgs that support the work you do (or the work you would like to get involved in).
 
What other tools are you familiar with?
 
FINAL THOUGHT: Life can be much better if we stop constantly listening to our inner critic and being so hard on ourselves and others. Life already has enough challenges without us having to make it any harder… In short: It would behoove us to just lighten the “freak” up a little.
 
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 03/09/23
thehealershome.com
 
"Faith Over Fear" Image by Alex Shute at Unsplash
Image of me rock climbing (taken by my husband)
 
References:
The Failure Institute - Videos
https://www.thefailureinstitute.com/videos/

Mel Robbins: 5 Second Rule
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI2VQ-ZsNr0
 
How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over - Mel Robbins
https://www.ted.com/talks/mel_robbins_how_to_stop_screwing_yourself_over?language=en
 
SWIHA Lean Into Your Success Facebook group - March 8, 2023 Live Talk hosted by Becca Briley, with Gisele Marasca-Vargas
https://www.facebook.com/MySWIHA/videos/982330852735956