It's Not Perfect.
And It Never Will Be...
In the last few years, I
cleaned up my diet by becoming almost 100% pescetarian (someone who’s
mostly vegetarian, but eats fish) and removing or drastically reducing
the consumption of “usual suspects” such as gluten, sugars, dairy, etc.
Although I feel healthier and more energetic due to these changes, I
have to say that occasionally I sorely miss some of the foods I chose to
give up.
I recently went through a 7-day cleanse using
bentonite clay (check it out, it’s a natural and very effective way to
detox your body from heavy metals and other impurities). One day during
this cleanse (and maybe because of it), I felt a dire need to consume
heavier animal protein and fat. When we ordered Chinese food the next
day, I decided to break my pescetarian diet and have roasted duck,
something I hadn’t done in 15 years. And I have to admit that I
delighted myself in it…
After the meal (or rather, even during
it), I felt a lot of guilt and shame, as a good (recovering) Catholic. I
had a talk with my husband about it, during which I commented on the
fact that I had all these high aspirations for myself in relation to my
health, as well as caring for animal suffering and the environment;
however, still I couldn’t keep myself from craving and enjoying a guilty
pleasure such as this. I also I admired the fact that he was so
steadfast in his own habits and decisions (he’s a no-exception
pescaterian who doesn’t seem to ever have any trouble following
through).
He answered simply: “It’s not perfect. Allow yourself
this truth.” He mentioned that sometimes he feels uncomfortable with the
idea of eating fish and thinks about becoming a full vegetarian (which
we already do several days per week). And sometimes he thoroughly enjoys
it and doesn’t feel as willing to give that up. It’s not perfect.
Somewhere
along the road, a lot of us pick up this damaging belief that we have
to be perfect and consistent, or else; that once we make a decision
about something, we should stick to it; and if we slip, that means we’ve
failed. We’re then losers who should be ashamed of ourselves and
deserve punishment, which often comes in the form of behaviors that are
even more self-destructive (and also destructive to others), and
inevitably leads to giving up or feeling paralyzed in relation to
pursuing our goals.
We know when we need to challenge ourselves
and step out of our comfort zone. And sure, we do need to cultivate
strong discipline, motivation and persistence, especially when
addressing soft and hard addictions (food, TV, Internet, drugs, alcohol,
etc) or dealing with procrastination, so that we can continue moving
forward towards our goals and dreams. On the other hand, we also need to
learn acceptance of the fact that slipping and making mistakes is part
of the process, and that failure paves the road to success. We need to
learn how to fail epically and still keep going.
Failing is
especially good for business. As a matter of fact, the current trend is
to fail fast to get that part of the process out of the way and fail
mindfully to acquire the necessary knowledge and successfully apply the
lessons (please check out some of the awesome videos from The Failure
Institute; link under References). Also, sharing our struggles is one of
the most effective ways to connect with and engage our audience.
Learning
how to make mistakes and fail with humility, without beating ourselves
up, is one of the most courageous and self-loving choices we can make in
life. And life can be much better if we stop constantly listening to
our inner critic and being so hard on ourselves and others. Life has
enough challenges already, without us having to make it any harder… In
short: It would behoove us to just lighten the “freak” up a little.
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 11/21/2020
theragicenter.com
Photo by isabella and louisa fischer from unsplash
References:
The Failure Institute - Videos
https://www.thefailureinstitute.com/videos/
You Might Also Like:
Becoming a Functional Perfectionist
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/becoming-a-functional-perfectionist
The Trouble with Making Resolution Lists
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/the-trouble-with-making-resolution-lists
From Just Surviving to Fully Living
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/from-just-surviving-to-fully-living
Message from the TriH - Healers Healing Healers online group meeting (11.14.20):
The Answer: Random Acts of Kindness
https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=3467997656617012&set=gm.757482941471078
