The Trouble With Making Resolution Lists
Does Making Lists Really Help?
If you’re like me,
you make lots of lists. In your head, on your computer, your phone, your
planner, etc. Or on a bunch of post-it notes that you paste everywhere
on your desk and around the house, as I do. Lists of what needs to be
done; what should be done; what you’d like to see happen. Some are
simple lists, such as what you need from the grocers; others include
more important things, such as your life goals or the qualities you want
in a new partner or job. There are daily lists, weekly lists, monthly
lists, yearly list; short, mid and long term goal lists. The New Year
holiday is traditionally a big one for making lists of all the
resolutions you plan to commit to during that year.
It’s fun to
make lists. It kind of gives us this great big sense of satisfaction,
and the feeling that we’re actually accomplishing something just by
writing down what we intend to accomplish. For a perfectionist like
myself, it can also be pleasing to organize lists according to priority,
categorize and sub-categorize it, color-coordinate it. For the
control-freak in me, it creates the illusion that I can actually run my
life with lists.
Making lists does give us the power to organize
things and get them out of our head. As a matter of fact, for those of
us who tend to have sleep trouble, it’s often recommended that we make a
list of things we need to do before we go to bed, so that we won’t
stress ourselves by running the list in our head as we try to fall
asleep.
So what’s the problem with lists? Absolutely nothing, as
long as we really manage to get the important stuff done. However, if
you are like me, you probably tend to focus more on making the list and
checking off the quick and easy items (which often qualify as busy-work)
than going for the big, life-changing items. And we know which those
are. We always know which those are.
As a matter of
fact, have you ever noticed how these big-ticket items sometimes don’t
even make it to a list? When you feel fed-up enough with the status quo
and are ready for a change that you know will make your life better, you
often just get started. You think about it, make a decision and take
the first step. If you decide, however, to write that big-ticket item
down on your list, that’s when it might end up by not getting done; at
least, not any time soon. Certainly not until the next New Year’s
resolutions list, when you might decide to include it in your list
again. That’s why many of us often reach another New Year with the
feeling that we didn’t really accomplish much of what we set off to do
during that year, even though we kept busy and checked off many items
from many lists. But the big resolutions, the ones that really have the
potential to change our lives, were often left unchecked.
Why
does that happen? Because checking off the big items can feel very
uncomfortable; it takes a lot of commitment and dedication, and can
cause havoc in our lives, make us feel out of control, lead to a
difficult transition phase, etc. So we prefer to choose the comfortable
and familiar, even when that’s not making us happy; even when life could
be so much better if we just took those important, life-changing steps.
But
you don’t have to wait until you reach your saturation point. If you do
have important items on your list, here’s my advice: Read your list
once. Check it twice. Then ask yourself which items on the list feel
like the biggest challenges and make you the most uncomfortable. Chances
are, they are the ones you’ve been procrastinating around, and they are
exactly the ones you need to pick first… and actually start working on.
So what are you going to leave unchecked this year? Or is this the year when you just do it?
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 10/27/20
theragicenter.com
Photo by Alexas Fotos from Pixabay
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