MAY THIS BE THE YEAR...

 

MAY THIS BE THE YEAR…

- May this be the year of new beginnings and positive transformation…
 
- May this be the year when we are true to ourselves and others; when we say what we mean and mean what we say, and do it with kindness (because honesty without compassion is just cruelty) and self-awareness (acknowledging and taking responsibility for our part)…
 
- May this be the year when we seek and embrace constructive change in spite of our fears…
 
- May this be the year when we lose what doesn’t serve us anymore and find ourselves in the process…

- May this be the year when we muster the courage and motivation to pursue and achieve our goals and dreams…
 
- May this be the year when we realize that we are deserving of love and support, and that we can also receive as we give of our best…
 
- May this be the year when we choose to be happy and live happily (for these are, indeed, choices we can make)…
 
- May this be the year when we accept first and judge rarely (or not at all)…
 
- May this be the year when we acquire less and share more…
 
- May this be the year when we live and let live…
 
- May this be the year when we commit to daily random acts of kindness, because kindness does matter…
 
- May this be the year…
 
How To Create Happiness in Your Life Everyday - TEDTalk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwmKJ8-EQL8
 
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 12/08/20

theragicenter.com

 

Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels

IT'S NOT PERFECT.

 

It's Not Perfect.

And It Never Will Be...

In the last few years, I cleaned up my diet by becoming almost 100% pescetarian (someone who’s mostly vegetarian, but eats fish) and removing or drastically reducing the consumption of “usual suspects” such as gluten, sugars, dairy, etc. Although I feel healthier and more energetic due to these changes, I have to say that occasionally I sorely miss some of the foods I chose to give up.
 
I recently went through a 7-day cleanse using bentonite clay (check it out, it’s a natural and very effective way to detox your body from heavy metals and other impurities). One day during this cleanse (and maybe because of it), I felt a dire need to consume heavier animal protein and fat. When we ordered Chinese food the next day, I decided to break my pescetarian diet and have roasted duck, something I hadn’t done in 15 years. And I have to admit that I delighted myself in it…
 
After the meal (or rather, even during it), I felt a lot of guilt and shame, as a good (recovering) Catholic. I had a talk with my husband about it, during which I commented on the fact that I had all these high aspirations for myself in relation to my health, as well as caring for animal suffering and the environment; however, still I couldn’t keep myself from craving and enjoying a guilty pleasure such as this. I also I admired the fact that he was so steadfast in his own habits and decisions (he’s a no-exception pescaterian who doesn’t seem to ever have any trouble following through).
 
He answered simply: “It’s not perfect. Allow yourself this truth.” He mentioned that sometimes he feels uncomfortable with the idea of eating fish and thinks about becoming a full vegetarian (which we already do several days per week). And sometimes he thoroughly enjoys it and doesn’t feel as willing to give that up. It’s not perfect.
 
Somewhere along the road, a lot of us pick up this damaging belief that we have to be perfect and consistent, or else; that once we make a decision about something, we should stick to it; and if we slip, that means we’ve failed. We’re then losers who should be ashamed of ourselves and deserve punishment, which often comes in the form of behaviors that are even more self-destructive (and also destructive to others), and inevitably leads to giving up or feeling paralyzed in relation to pursuing our goals.
 
We know when we need to challenge ourselves and step out of our comfort zone. And sure, we do need to cultivate strong discipline, motivation and persistence, especially when addressing soft and hard addictions (food, TV, Internet, drugs, alcohol, etc) or dealing with procrastination, so that we can continue moving forward towards our goals and dreams. On the other hand, we also need to learn acceptance of the fact that slipping and making mistakes is part of the process, and that failure paves the road to success. We need to learn how to fail epically and still keep going.
 
Failing is especially good for business. As a matter of fact, the current trend is to fail fast to get that part of the process out of the way and fail mindfully to acquire the necessary knowledge and successfully apply the lessons (please check out some of the awesome videos from The Failure Institute; link under References). Also, sharing our struggles is one of the most effective ways to connect with and engage our audience.
 
Learning how to make mistakes and fail with humility, without beating ourselves up, is one of the most courageous and self-loving choices we can make in life. And life can be much better if we stop constantly listening to our inner critic and being so hard on ourselves and others. Life has enough challenges already, without us having to make it any harder… In short: It would behoove us to just lighten the “freak” up a little.
 
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 11/21/2020
theragicenter.com

Photo by isabella and louisa fischer from unsplash

References:
The Failure Institute - Videos
https://www.thefailureinstitute.com/videos/
 
You Might Also Like:
Becoming a Functional Perfectionist
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/becoming-a-functional-perfectionist
 
The Trouble with Making Resolution Lists
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/the-trouble-with-making-resolution-lists
 
From Just Surviving to Fully Living
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/from-just-surviving-to-fully-living
 
Message from the TriH - Healers Healing Healers online group meeting (11.14.20):
The Answer: Random Acts of Kindness
https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=3467997656617012&set=gm.757482941471078

THE TROUBLE WITH MAKING RESOLUTION LISTS

The Trouble With Making Resolution Lists

Does Making Lists Really Help?
If you’re like me, you make lots of lists. In your head, on your computer, your phone, your planner, etc. Or on a bunch of post-it notes that you paste everywhere on your desk and around the house, as I do. Lists of what needs to be done; what should be done; what you’d like to see happen. Some are simple lists, such as what you need from the grocers; others include more important things, such as your life goals or the qualities you want in a new partner or job. There are daily lists, weekly lists, monthly lists, yearly list; short, mid and long term goal lists. The New Year holiday is traditionally a big one for making lists of all the resolutions you plan to commit to during that year.
 
It’s fun to make lists. It kind of gives us this great big sense of satisfaction, and the feeling that we’re actually accomplishing something just by writing down what we intend to accomplish. For a perfectionist like myself, it can also be pleasing to organize lists according to priority, categorize and sub-categorize it, color-coordinate it. For the control-freak in me, it creates the illusion that I can actually run my life with lists.
 
Making lists does give us the power to organize things and get them out of our head. As a matter of fact, for those of us who tend to have sleep trouble, it’s often recommended that we make a list of things we need to do before we go to bed, so that we won’t stress ourselves by running the list in our head as we try to fall asleep.
 
So what’s the problem with lists? Absolutely nothing, as long as we really manage to get the important stuff done. However, if you are like me, you probably tend to focus more on making the list and checking off the quick and easy items (which often qualify as busy-work) than going for the big, life-changing items. And we know which those are. We always know which those are.
 

As a matter of fact, have you ever noticed how these big-ticket items sometimes don’t even make it to a list? When you feel fed-up enough with the status quo and are ready for a change that you know will make your life better, you often just get started. You think about it, make a decision and take the first step. If you decide, however, to write that big-ticket item down on your list, that’s when it might end up by not getting done; at least, not any time soon. Certainly not until the next New Year’s resolutions list, when you might decide to include it in your list again. That’s why many of us often reach another New Year with the feeling that we didn’t really accomplish much of what we set off to do during that year, even though we kept busy and checked off many items from many lists. But the big resolutions, the ones that really have the potential to change our lives, were often left unchecked.
 
Why does that happen? Because checking off the big items can feel very uncomfortable; it takes a lot of commitment and dedication, and can cause havoc in our lives, make us feel out of control, lead to a difficult transition phase, etc. So we prefer to choose the comfortable and familiar, even when that’s not making us happy; even when life could be so much better if we just took those important, life-changing steps.
 
But you don’t have to wait until you reach your saturation point. If you do have important items on your list, here’s my advice: Read your list once. Check it twice. Then ask yourself which items on the list feel like the biggest challenges and make you the most uncomfortable. Chances are, they are the ones you’ve been procrastinating around, and they are exactly the ones you need to pick first… and actually start working on.
 
So what are you going to leave unchecked this year? Or is this the year when you just do it?
 
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 10/27/20
theragicenter.com

Photo by Alexas Fotos from Pixabay

You Might Also Like:

Blooming Into Your Authentic Self
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/blooming-into-your-authentic-self

From Just Surviving to Fully Living
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/from-just-surviving-to-fully-living

Becoming a Functional Perfectionist
http://www.theragicenter.com/giseles-blog/becoming-a-functional-perfectionist