If one hurts, all hurt.
Imagine it’s true that we are One; and even if we are not aware of it, if we’re not conscious of the hurt that reflects and resonates in each one of us when others hurt, that it’s still there. That it’s imprinted in our collective consciousness on a cellular level, as we are interconnected with everyone and everything in the universe. Imagine that you are a drop in the ocean. If the ocean gets polluted, that means every drop of the ocean is also polluted. The whole is affected by each unit; each unit is affected by the whole.
Unfortunately, even as all of us are grieving, trying to make sense of it and find our bearings, there’s so much more grief being caused by the consequential barrage of reactions to these tragedies in the media. As Scott Powers mentioned on his blog article The Soul of Orlando to America: Give Us A Moment, “some other people, mostly from out of town, already are making the Pulse nightclub massacre about issues such as radical Islamic terrorism, the need for gun control, open carry, immigration, hateful things about gays, red meat for the partisan base, and, ultimately, elections.” He goes on to ask, first bluntly and then politely, for this to stop. For the world to give us a chance to grieve. These events do raise important questions, but it just doesn’t feel like the right time for all that yet. Now it’s time to work on putting ourselves back together... and help others do the same.
The victims’ family and friends who are still in the middle of dealing with what just happened will need a lot of support, as their healing process will probably be very long and often difficult. Here are a few things that the rest of us can do to contribute, as also we try to find our own way towards healing from these traumatic events:
1) We can avoid excessive exposure to the news, including social media. Even if we are not directly involved, these kinds of human tragedies really take a toll on us as individuals and as a community. If we happen to be highly sensitive people, even more so. We might be struggling with feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, confusion, depression, irrational anger, sadness, etc. We might be feeling unsafe, afraid and even paranoid. We might be feeling stressed and anxious. We might be feeling distracted and finding it hard to focus. We might be feeling all of the above and more. What we need the least right now is an overload of information about these events, along with the frenzy of the often negative reactions that follow. What we need the most is some time out to have a chance to recover. This is not about avoiding reality or alienating ourselves. But it’s one thing to stay informed; it’s another thing altogether to overload ourselves with a constant feed of details about the same event. Keeping a healthy balance in relation to the incoming stream of information is about coping and self-preservation. It’s about healing.
2) We can refrain from making or adhering to sweeping generalizations about the people involved and the groups to which they belong. It’s normal to have strong feelings such as anger, frustration, sadness and depression when something this horrible happens. However, it’s best to avoid the temptation to be swept over and brought down by hateful thoughts, words and actions, especially by others who have their own agendas. That kind of thinking doesn’t help anyone. It just keeps us in the same place that got us where we are to begin with, and it prevent us from healing and helping others heal.
3) We can offer a helping hand. That’s a very positive way to deal with and work through all those painful feelings. However, we should choose how to contribute from a place of love rather than guilt, keeping in mind that different people feel drawn to help in different ways; so we should choose whatever we feel most comfortable with. We might donate blood, volunteer at the hospital, help with the victims’ pets, etc. Or we might make a money contribution (link on the article below) and choose to pray or practice loving kindness meditation in the quiet of our homes. It’s all good.
Also, in this type of situation it’s best to check what kind of help is really needed. Some acts of kindness, as well-meaning as they are, can sometimes end up by causing more work for the people who are already working hard at damage control. For instance, vigils are beautiful ceremonies that can offer solace and lift the spirits of those in pain; however, when done at the wrong time or the wrong place, they can strain resources that would be better used in other ways. Please check the link below for more information on how to contribute in the most effective ways.
4) We can try to bring ourselves back up again. After such tragic events, people often feel guilty about trying to go back to normal and finding beauty and laughter in life again. But that’s a very healthy way to cope and heal, and to strengthen ourselves so that we can better help others cope and heal. I’ve noticed some people on Facebook posting funny, cute and uplifting images, videos, thoughts, etc, with the intention to help cheer people up, which is a very positive thing to do. It’s OK to laugh. Laughter therapy is actually used very successfully for the relief of physical or emotional pain and stress (including pain and stress caused by cancer or PTSD).
5) We can take stock. At times like this, we are reminded of how uncertain life is and how quickly things can change. We can ask ourselves if we are living our truth and pursuing our highest purpose; if we are serving or contributing in any way; if we are living more in love than in fear or anger; etc. As the lotus flower that grows in the mud, positive change can originate from a very negative situation.
6) We can focus on compassion and loving kindness. What always helps to bring back a sense of hopeful optimism about the human race after such tragedies is the outpouring of goodwill that always follows. We can think of all the people in our community getting united; all the people working long hours to save the injured; all the people lining up to donate blood; all the people organizing vigils, volunteering, sending flowers and donations to emergency care staff and the victims’ families; all the people taking care of the victims’ pets; etc.
We can also begin this loving kindness process internally. We can help raise the energy and uplift people by uplifting ourselves. We can love. On that note, you might want to watch Stephen Colbert’s Despair Is A Victory For Hate speech: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1VZGUJ8GtY
Final Thought: “There's always going to be bad stuff out there. But here's the amazing thing---light trumps darkness, every time. You stick a candle into the dark, but you can't stick the dark into the light.” --- Jodi Picoult
© Gisele Marasca-Vargas; 06/15/2016
theragicenter.com
Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay
Related Articles:
The Soul of Orlando to America: Give Us A Moment
http://floridapolitics.com/archives/213172-soul-orlando-america-give-us-moment
Pulse Shooting: How You Can Help & What Locals Need To Know
http://bungalower.com/2016/06/12/pulse-shooting-locals-need-know/
